What I Really Meant To Say
by joedan84
Summary: Chloe and Clark's thoughts during the dreaded conversation. It's not what either really meant to say.


Started and Finished: September 27, 2002

Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Vortex

Disclaimer: I own none of them, but if I did I'd smack Chloe upside her pretty little head!

****

What I Really Meant To Say

Author's Note: In my personal opinion Chloe gave herself the kiss of death. We saw how she felt about her decision, but not much about Clark's feelings on staying friends only. This is what I think they were thinking.

__

What I really meant to say is I'm dyin' here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby, here's the truth I'm still in love with you

(And, that's what I really meant to say)

--Cindi Thomson

****

CHLOE

"Uh, Chloe. I've been wanting to apologize for leaving you at the formal." No, Clark. If you apologize, then I won't be able to do this. Talk fast, Chloe.

"Oh, didn't I tell you that leaving in a tornado to save a friend totally gets you off the hook? Besides, I mean, you'd do the same for me." Right?

"Oh, in a heartbeat! So, how can I make it up to you?" I have to show him that he didn't hurt me. I have to save face. I can't let him see how much leaving me ripped me apart.

"Actually, you know, I've been thinking. It's funny how a natural disaster puts your life in perspective, but I think it might be better if we just stayed really good friends. Anything other than that gets too complicated." What did I do? I just ruined my chance with Clark. What have I done?

"Uh, yeah. I think that's a good idea." You- You do? No, don't say that! Please don't say that, Clark. Please.

"You do?" Please say no. Oh god, what have I done?

"Yeah. Yeah, our friendship is really important to me. The last thing I want to do is screw it up." No. No, no, no. You're supposed to say, 'Of course not. I love you.' Then I say, 'I love you, too.' Then you kiss me and we live happily ever after. Why are you agreeing with me?

"Good. Great. Perfect. I'm really glad we got that straightened out." Shut up! Why am I saying that? Why can't I stop? 

"Uhm, I'm going to go check over here." No! Come back! I didn't mean it. Please don't go.

"Oh, okay. I'll catch up in a sec. My feet are throbbing." They're not the only part of me that's throbbing. I can't breathe. I feel as if a metal band is tightening around my chest. What have I done?!

****

CLARK

"Uh, Chloe. I've been wanting to apologize for leaving you at the formal." I'm sorry, Chloe. So sorry.

"Oh, didn't I tell you that leaving in a tornado to save a friend totally gets you off the hook? Besides, I mean, you'd do the same for me." Of course! Do you even have to ask? I would do anything to save you.

"Oh, in a heartbeat! So, how can I make it up to you?" Anything, Chloe. I'll do anything. Your wish is my command. I want, no I _need, _to make this right.

"Actually, you know, I've been thinking. It's funny how a natural disaster puts your life in perspective, but I think it might be better if we just stayed really good friends. Anything other than that gets too complicated." What? No! Don't say that. How could you say that? You don't mean it. But look at your face…this _is_ what you want, isn't it?

"Uh, yeah. I think that's a good idea." No. No, I don't. It's a horrible idea. So, why am I agreeing? I'm agreeing because it's obviously what Chloe wants. I want her to be happy. If this is what it takes, I can push my feelings aside.

"You do?" It's the worst thing you could do, Chloe. So, why can't I tell you that? Why can't I just come out and say what I meant to say that night? Chloe, I love you.

"Yeah. Yeah, our friendship is really important to me. The last thing I want to do is screw it up." Right, this is why. If this is truly what you want, I'm not going to screw up our friendship to force the issue. Is this what you want, Chloe?

"Good. Great. Perfect. I'm really glad we got that straightened out." You do. You don't want to be with me. You just want to be my friend. How could I have been so stupid? Of course you just want to stay friends. I was selfish to think I could be more.

"Uhm, I'm going to go check over here." I can't let you see me now. I have to think about this. I can't just forget that almost-kiss never happened. I have to go.

"Oh, okay. I'll catch up in a sec. My feet are throbbing." Please come after me. Tell me it was a mistake. Tell me it's not what you want. Please? Why aren't you coming?


End file.
